1 month before john and i got married, we decided we wanted babies right away. we were SO VERY excited to get started. we thought, well... if we start the month before we get married, and i end up pregnant - no one will ever know. how clever were we???
a year and a half later... still no babies.
it's been quite a journey. it's emotionally draining, really. unfortunately, i think i was the only female in my generation to get the "controlling garza gene". i over-plan everything. i have a vision of how i want my life and how i want things to be. i will do anything and everything to have my vision become a reality. it's been a hard struggle for me to understand that there's just some things i have no control over. i always thought... when i want babies, i will have babies. i never thought i would have to be the girl that has to sit and chart my ovulation days, basal temperature... i even read a book with pictures on how to tell i'm ovulating by the color of my discharge. i would sit there and try to make out if my discharge was creamy, clear, or crusty. i've paid a woman that told me she could guarantee me a baby by doing a uterus massage, that predicted my previous mis-carriage, all for the small price of $300. i've ordered potions over the internet that say "there's a baby in every bottle". i've taken every desperate measure i could possibly think of... except go to the doctor.
you see, me and john are both self-employed. even though we're both young (28 and 32), insurance for us is around $300 monthly. what they don't tell you is that the $300 a month does NOT cover maternity. so then we researched maternity riders... WOW. every insurance we looked in to that covers maternity has a 12 month waiting period and ranges from $600 to $800 a month. after exploring the costs of insurance and exploring the costs of just paying cash... we've decided to go the cash route.
so then it came time to pick a doctor. little did i know... most doctors in the north dallas area do not work with cash paying patients. after about 9 call attempts and one lady very rudely telling me "we don't take medicaid patients"... i broke down and gave up. i could not believe that doctors prefer working with insurance? why? because they can charge them more? and how can they discriminate against people's financial status and not take medicaid? it's a cruel, cruel world that i've been learning is based on politics and money. people don't become doctors to help people anymore. they become doctors to live in a $500,000 house, buy versace suits, and prada shoes. every now and then they'll do pro-bono work to help get their name in a medical magazine... but no longer are people doctors to actually help the sick and needy. there's no passion in the healthcare field. or, is there?...
after calling john, crying my eyes out... telling him that no one will help us, he became my knight in shining armor. he was NOT going to let this break us any more. he called doctor after doctor after doctor. he ended up calling the hospital by our house, richardson regional hospital, and talked with them about our struggle. apparently they knew EXACTLY what we were going through and pointed him in the right direction. they told him that if we plan ahead and use a doctor from their list of doctors that work with "cash paying patients", we would get a lot of discounts.
we had our first appointment with Doctor Anne Wang Gomez on August 24th, 2009.
OH WHAT A JOY! she was SO awesome! we told her everything that we had been going through. she surprisingly was able to dig up the last ounce of hope i had. we talked with her for an hour and she answered so many of our questions. she gave us advice for "in the bedroom" and outside of the bedroom. she gave us A PLAN. how wonderful it is to have a PLAN! we got to meet her staff and had a chance to sit down and talk with them about pricing and payment plans. she was truely god sent, and i can honestly say i've gotten up every morning and thought about her... hoping she has everything in life that she wants, because i know she's going to be the person to help give me and john everything we want... a family of our very own.
so... with all that being said, welcome to my blog! today is my second day of ovulation testing. dr. wang wanted me to start with ovulation testing first. i'm supposed to document the results every day and document every sexual encounter with john ;) my ovulation tests require me to pee in a VERY SMALL cup every morning for 20 days. i'm thinking about writing the makers of the ovulation test and tell them they need to make a BIGGER cup.
john is also getting tested this month. i'm calling tomorrow to set his appointment for the week after next. we'll keep you updated...
we're so very excited!!!
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