Doctors, Doctors, Doctors

So... I talk to my Cousin Jenny pretty frequently... well, at least maybe once a month I try to call or e-mail. I had to kind of alienate myself from her over the past year because we were both going through the same thing - trying to get pregnant and no luck. I hate to say that my jealousy takes over me sometimes. Especially since she had only been trying to get pregnant for a year before she started seeing a Fertility Specialist. I hate that I get like that, but I just get so emotional with this stupid fertility stuff. At the point she started seeing her Specialist, I had been trying for 2 and a half years. I guess it shouldn't have mattered, it's not her fault she had health insurance and the funds to afford her Specialist and I didn't. Either way... she's grown up with me, being as close as a Sister. She's pregnant now from her IVF and I hate myself sometimes because I wish I could have "manned up" and put my emotions on the back-burner so I could have been there for her while she was giving herself shots and going to the Doctor on a daily basis, but I guess I'm just a weakling and couldn't. Shows how great of a person I am :-( I have a feeling that's going to be one of those things I'm going to forever regret and take it to the grave.
Anyway... She's such a doll, a great person, friend, cousin, sister. Her Doctor, Dr. Honore, gave her the name of a Doctor in Dallas that he recommends to all his out-of-town referrals that he's un-able to see. Doctor Samuel Chantilis is his name. He's supposed to be one of the best in Texas, if not in the Country. He's been voted D Magazines best Fertility Doctor every year since 2001. I've googled this guy and HAVE TO SEE HIM. Sure enough... HE'S IN MY INSURANCE NETWORK WOOT WOOT! Unfortunately, there's a 2 months waiting list to see him :-( but, hell, we've been waiting for 3 1/2 years, whats 2 more months right? I'M SO EXCITED!

Almost 2 years later, still no baby...

It's amazing to go back and read the blog I first posted on here Sept. 9, 2009. It's amazing how much my life has changed since then, and how much it hasn't changed. We are still struggling to try to conceive, but it isn't such an emotional strain these days. I guess we've kind of become numb to it all. Over the past 2 years I've cried, my husband has cried, I've seen more and more people get pregnant, but thank goodness everyone understands when I somehow don't make it to baby showers. Self-Employment and not having insurance has always been the issue. On March 23, 2010 I quit selling Real Estate and went on with the US Army Corps on Engineers in their HomeOwner's Assistance Program Department, in order to hopefully get hired on full-time (I was hired as a Contractor, with no health benefits of course). It never happened. As a Contractor you make so much more as what they are willing to pay you as a permanent Employee. I was so offended at how much they wanted to pay me that I to go permanent that I immediately started looking for other employment. I did my research on different Employers that offer infertility benefits. HAH! Did that narrow down the list of prospects! I found that several parenting magazines noted Bank of America as one of the top Employers to work for due to their benefits that they offer for infertility and adoption. Luckily they were hiring... temporary staff. But, if I could just get my foot in the door, I knew I would succeed. I would do whatever it takes to succeed, for those benefits, so I can one day have Jacquelyn or Jackson. I was hired on temporary on October 18, 2010! I moved up a position within 6 weeks of employment, but still no permanent position and still no health benefits.
I'm thankful to say that July 13, 2011 was my first day as a FULL TIME PERMANENT EMPLOYEE!!! I'm thankful to say that September 1, 2011 I will officially have healthcare. I'm thankful to say that my healthcare will cover all of my InVitro.
John and I have started looking for Doctors again and are going to interview a few. We've moved to Arlington over the past couple years and made the most perfect little home for ourselves. We won't be able to see Doctor Gomez because she's about 50 minutes away from us now, but I am forever hopeful that I will find someone that will make me just as excited.
We are fighting for you little Jackie or Jack! It WILL happen!